That’s what every typical guy would say when they don’t use their brains and think. Honestly, there’s a million things you can do to help a person feel better. Maybe actually talk to the person more instead of randomly pop out of the blue asking “How’s it going?” or “Is everything doing well?” Maybe you would know more if you were actually their next to that persons side the whole time he or she is going through a tough time. I know I am. I know “I’ve been busy lately” well so have I. I’ve been busy for the past month watching over my mom with her illness and with finals at school. Honestly, I really, I mean REALLY hate my life right now, at this very moment. There’s nothing in this world that’s going right for me. I just wish there’s more opinions for me. I wish I actually have someone who cares by my side every minute of the day that actually tries to comfort me through this hard time in my life. Maybe I need someone who really loves me right here, right now. I know I sound desperate. At least I know that I have someone who loves me, cares for me, tries to get me through a very tough day without letting me thinking about committing suicide and how no one is this world would care that I was gone if I actually did myself harm. I just need someone who means the world to me right now. All I do all day is sleep, wake up, go to class, watch my mom, get food, do the things my mom needs, clean the house, take a nap, get waken up by coughing every 5 minutes, then take a shower, stay up till my mom falls asleep, then pass out for 3 hours then having to wake up for class’s or help my mom 3-4 hours later. It’s a really hard and dark period of my life right now. I don’t have time for myself anymore. I don’t even have people to talk to without being scared they won’t be able to talk cause “I’m busy” “I can’t talk right now” “I’m at work I’ll talk to you when I get out (Never does)” There’s only two people in my life who I’m willing to tell them anything. One. My best friend and Two: someone who I shall not name but broke my heart then complains about how being single sucks. Sometimes my best friend is busy doing things with her family, or getting her homework done, maybe softball stuff. On the other hand, I have another person in mind, but every time I try to send a text message or try to call. I hesitate and end up not doing anything but be scared out of my mind thinking it’s going to be awkward, I’m going to breakdown if I hear “his” voice, or be rejected.

Sorry if I’m spamming your dashboard with this long ass rant, but I have no one to rant to. There’s only one person who I could rant to but I’m scared of being judged, rejected, or get heart broken. If I could change anything in my life, it would be to have courage instead of being shy. Being shy in this family is a pain in the ass. I never speak up for myself, I always have a close friend do that for me. I just wish I would have the balls to actually tell someone how I feel without being pessimist when it comes to these type of situation…

I fucking hate my life. I fucking hate who I am. I fucking hate who I become. I fucking hate the people in my life. I fucking hate the situation I fall into.

I fucking hate the fact that I can’t control myself from creating strong feelings for someone then get hurt. Then after can’t get over that person even though I didn’t last and was ended out of the blue…

Fuck my life.

I’m so attach, it’s crazy. I was in love. I just felt really REALLY safe with him, now not anymore. I was heart broken, I still am. Now I find out about this later on when it already happened. Makes me upset. That’s why when I had an opportunity to go somewhere, I didn’t think well enough. Do you know why? I thought I couldn’t happen the situation, waiting to get the boot again. Things might be different again then it did the last time I went. So I had to make up an excuse. This time, this upcoming up weekend, I have to go to see my uncle. No ands, if’s or butt’s. I guess I’m gonna lock myself in the guess room till its time to go home and and leave.
I just know it for sure if I do, there’s nothing for me anymore, nothing interesting to do, go back to nothing but sand.
The pass few months I felt used, like I feel like I’m a second choice. I hate that. I hate finding things out. I hate that. I hate remembering the horrible feels I have in my stomachs that made me wanna throw up.
Well it’s an indication to stop what I’m doing, and get over it I guess… Fuck guys, fuck love, fuck feeling a lonely constantly. I seriously don’t wanna live anymore due to the lies and shit going through my life.

It’s sad to miss someone who you think doesn’t miss you anymore since there’s hardly any communication between you two. It’s like, you get all paranoid wondering if they ever thought once about you during the day or maybe something good might happen but nope. My hopes are slowly fading away in the wind. It’s kinda like dropping ashes into a ocean. As hard as I try to forget its kinda hard not to… Especially with someone who really really brings the happiness out of you.
Well, just wanna put it out there that they’re pretty much the first and last thing I think about after I wake up and before I fall asleep.. It’s kinda a habit now.
:/ being lonely sucks, being far away sucks, being even alive sucks.
I wish I didn’t have problems, but I do.

Truth is I still miss you….

More like a confusion..
I think you’ve hurt me more than anyone I can think of. But I still come crawling back on my knees. Look at me now. It’s almost 2 years and I’m getting nothing.

I wish time was on our side. I never thought I would be here. I can’t believe I got this low, just too low. When you like act like this, I despise you. I bet you already know that. The best thing that happened to me is slowly fading away. I still honestly don’t know what to think about this situation anymore. I’m on the boarder of falling off a cliff and giving up just to get this off my chest. It’s just to personal now. I wish everything was what they use to be.
But I guess I’m slowly fading not knowing whats the differences between dreams and reality anymore.

You are a bitch. You complain shit I don’t want to be involve with. I don’t give a flying fuck if “he” is flirting with you. And when you say “nah. I can’t really say” then spill your whore of a mouth.
I don’t care if he talks to you, he is on my “I don’t give a shit about” list. He used me. He is a manwhore. He even calls him that. You have 4 guys all over you.
Leave me alone.

Why is everyone obsessing with Valentines Day?
It’s just a day. Honestly, you can do whatever you plan to do on valentines and do it every day for years and years. They shouldn’t have a day decided to love. Showing how much you love a person should be every day as long as you guys are still together, but every year on Feb, 14th.
Even though I never had someone to spend my valentines with or ever had been with anyone on valentines I kinda think it’s stupid..
Yeah, I might be jealous of seeing every couple around me showing their affection to each other and in public. I just wish guys were different… There’s not a lot of guys here who are actually like that.. They’re always out of town or out of the state… Im just lame…

Yay, that wasn’t a surprise isn’t it? You’re pulling the same bullshit on me again aren’t you. -_____-
I’m sick and tired of it. Do one thing or the other. Take it or leave it. I’ll find a way to get myself out of this rut and hole you created for me.

Is it me or are we going down hill? I’m kinda sadden about it, like, oh… ok.. I see how it is. Yes, completely flirt with me saying all of these crap here and there. Then later on do something else. Sir, that is what I like to call lending on and using someone.. I hate that, honestly, I don’t act like this with ANYONE, you were the only exception for that. Well, hey, what the hell, I guess I’ll be on the down low and keep it to myself. You frustrate me a lot. You can’t make up your mind. It’s either do the one or the other (pick your choice). Yeah, I’m sick and tired of being alone, it hurts me a lot. But this is kinda making it worst too…. Well apparently I have more stress on my chest now.

I just can’t get myself out of this rut apparently. I’m a mess, I’m a loser, I always get myself in the most horrible situations ever. I pretty much hate my life. Said and done.

I completely hate the fact I can’t speak my mind. When something is bother its either I think about the bad thing the person is going to say and everything ends up flipping upside down, or let it bottle up inside my mind for the rest of the day or week. I wish I had the courage to be dependent for once without being afraid of the negative side.

You’re acting strange.. :/
I don’t know…

Wow… I feel soooooooo special after seeing that little thing posted tonight… Thanks that really meant a lot to me. So basically I feel completely useless now.
Well, who am I to judge. Only had 3 guys in my life. One lasted for a year (ended up being a complete asshole and cheated on me for I don’t know how long), second one lasted for a month (ended up being all about sex totally left him), third and recent one lasted 4 months (ended up being a long distance relationship…) who I still end up having really strong feelings for after knowing him for what almost 3 years now.
Yeah, I’m truly forever alone. I hate this place. I want to move when I get a transfer to the Art Institute in Orange County. I can’t wait..

With every word I see from you are making me doubt :/ I want this to work, honestly I want to really bad. But you gotta keep your head up. Yeah I know you feel down and stuff. I’m going through the same thing you know… I wish did something about this little empty heart I have going on that’s shrinking every day for the pass 2 years. You’re the one who left the scar there, and you’re the only person who can fix it. Honestly I’ve been having this 11:11 wish for 2 years and I haven’t seen it happen once. It only happened once a few days after my birthday, that was when I was the happiest. Now I’m just waiting for that to happen again. If only you knew what I was talking about.. I normally don’t believe in second chances but you’re the only exception.

You’re not the only one. I’m going through the same thing too. I never did it, I’m completely straight edge and always will be till I turn 21. And yeah. We haven’t been in a relationship in 2 years. But hey, you’re worth it. Sorry if I don’t have enough money for a round trip to see you. In my eyes I see a guy waiting for me on the other side. I keep my mind open and on the positive side. I hope you do the same thing. The reason why I’m still fighting for it cause you’re worth my time and place.
I just wanted to share that with you. You’re not alone, we’re both in the same boat.
I actually feel the same way.

If you’re embarrassed of me, I’m fine with that but why are you my friend? I’m sorry I’m awkward, shy, out of control sometimes. It’s my life, it’s my personally. I’m outgoing and I can’t control it. It’s just the way I am.
I’m socially awkward and I know it but it’s hard not to be shy in front of someone who I hardly know. If I’m with close friends then my true colors come out. Sorry of I can’t be “chill” as you want me to be in front of you’re friend or whoever the hell it is. Why are you my friend than?